Friday, June 15, 2012

Should You Use Limited Contact With Ex Or No Contact Rule With Ex?

When it comes to back with an ex, it's extremely important to determine whether you should use limited contact with an ex or no contact with an ex after a breakup. Not using the right one for your relationship situation can be a grave mistake.

So when do you use the limited contact rule with an ex girlfriend or boyfriend? You use this limited contact rule only when the following apply to you:

1. You and your ex have kids together or are going to have a child together.

2. You live with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend.

3. You work with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend.

4. You go to the same school with your ex.

If the above applies to you, visit the link for more information about limited contact with ex girlfriend. I know it says "with ex girlfriend," but the rules about limited contact contained in that article also apply to women trying to get an ex boyfriend back.

If you've come here without reading the common mistakes made after a breakup, it's essential you click the link to see what not to do after a breakup. Damaging mistakes determine how much work it will take to repair your ex's image of you and how long limited contact or no contact can be.

When To Use The No Contact Rule With An Ex?

1. When the above situations do not apply to you or your relationship with your ex.

2. Immediately after a breakup.

Like I mentioned in the previous article no contact after a breakup helps with damage control. It helps to prevent you from further damaging any future relationship you may have with your ex after the dust settles.

Most people don't understand this concept. They think by staying close to their ex they'll have a better chance of sneaking in through the back door.

Many foolishly try to skip steps and even use limited contact when they don't need to and should've used the no contact rule. Those who did this learned that they were not clever at all and worsened any chance of getting an ex back. 

Here are some stories of those who thought they were clever and ignored the no contact rule while thinking they could get away with limited contact when they weren't suppose to use it:

"I desperately need your help. I know I should've used no contact with my ex boyfriend, but I still kept in touch with him. Every time we chatted I tried to get him to change his mind, but we ended up just arguing. I said a lot of things I regret now, but I was hurt and angry.

 I analyzed every conversation with him. I then got desperate and started calling his friends to find out what was going on with him and if he was seeing someone else.

He finally agreed to meet me, and told me he loved me but didn't see us working out. He wasn't angry that I had called his friends snooping for answers, but he also said it wasn't cool. I think I really messed up. What should I do now? Please help!"

Another example of one of these stories is from a guy who emailed me a while ago. Here's his story:

"My ex girlfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago. I had heard of no contact, but I ignored it. I really thought me and my ex had something really special and she would see that in time. 

I agreed to stay friends with her, even though I had feelings for her. Things really didn't change much. We still talked and texted all the time and hung out quite a bit. Then after a few weeks things started to change. She began responding less and less and was always busy.

Then about two weeks ago I found out she was seeing someone else. I totally lost it and blew up at her. She told me that she didn't do anything wrong and that we were not together.

I really blew it, and she told me it was best we didn't talk anymore and to not contact her. That was two weeks ago, and she doesn't respond to any of my messages anymore. What are my options now?"

 The above stories are just two of many examples I hear about, and they always end the same. What are their options now? It's the same option they had in the beginning of the breakup, and that's the no contact rule with an ex.

Do they still have a chance of ever reuniting with their ex? There's always a chance, but I won't candy coat things. The more damage you create immediately after a breakup, the more the odds drop in your favor.

For them, it now depends on whether they're ready to do a lot of work for that one far off chance. This is where they will really need to get their hands on a proven get your ex back strategy and learn it front to back.

One part of that strategy is first learning some core concepts. Read more about the core concepts you should know while you're in the no contact rule after a breakup.

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