I'm not going to harp on just how important a complete strategy in getting back an ex is, because I've done it so many times. If they're worth getting back then they're worth it. If not, then they're not. Pretty simple, but I'll let you decide that.
When to break the no contact rule is a tricky question (if you knew the complete strategy, you would know), but I'll try my best to explain. You break no contact when:
1. You have accepted the breakup and the relationship is over!
Sounds confusing, doesn't it? Let me explain. You must accept that your old relationship with your ex is over! It's dead! And you really don't want your old relationship with them anyway. No contact gives you the chance to take a step back and start OVER with your ex.
Number 2 will further explain this psychology.
2. You have gotten rid of what separated you two to begin with!
This goes hand in hand with the above requirement. If you haven't figured out what separated you two to begin with and fixed it, it doesn't matter if you get them back or not. It won't last long and you two will just end up breaking up again.
You have to be willing to start from a fresh place with your ex again. DO NOT try to just pick up where you left off.
3. It has been no LESS than 30 days!
You should NEVER contact your ex unless it has been thirty days or more of no contact. The 30 day no contact rule or 60 day no contact rule is not set in stone, however. Sometimes, it takes longer for people to get themselves back under control and start thinking rationally again after a breakup.
I've known exes who have gotten back together after several months to a year. Once again, this is your call. If you've done everything you should be doing during no contact then it's time to break the no contact rule. If you're not sure, you should read and learn the rules of no contact!
Or, you can click the link and get my free ebook called Behind No Contact, which details exactly what the no contact rule with an ex is all about.
4. Do you have a strategy to get your ex back?
Here's where almost 90% of those who are trying to get back an ex fail, and it's because they have NO strategy to get an ex back. Look, I harp on this a lot for a reason.
Getting back an ex is a process! It's not just a single tactic or some magical line you'll say that will make them come running back to you. It's a COMPLETE process.
Look, before you and your ex were an item, did you have to go through a process before you got to being considered a "couple?" Sure, you did. You had to attract each other, date each other, and fall in love with each other, right?
Getting back an ex is a process of re-attracting an ex back. Too many underestimate this process and it puts them on the immediate path to failure.
So when to break the no contact rule is when you're completely armed and ready with a strategy that will give you the highest possible chance of attracting and winning your ex back. This will be the time that you need to contact your ex again, if they haven't already contacted you.
However, should you email your ex? Should you call up your ex or should you text your ex? What are you going to say? Not just anything will do. How do you subtly contact them after the no contact rule without appearing needy and desperate, or making it appear too obvious you're trying to get back together?
For that, you will need to visit the link to learn more about across the bow text messages when you make that important first contact after the no contact rule.