Sunday, November 13, 2011

Part Two of How To Get Through A Break Up & Become A Better You!

In the previous post, we explained some key principles on how to get through a break up. We learned that it's essential to accept the break up and learn to let go. The last post also emphasized on how important it is to learn and remember that you're not your relationship. You are you and learning to love yourself and who you are is an important step to healing.

In the stages of a post break up, it's important that you distance yourself from your ex. If you still love them, it's even more vital you back away from them. Don't give in to their demands of "being friends" or staying in their lives. Staying friends with someone you love and have feelings for is impossible. You will just add more pain to yourself and it will be even harder to break free.

Please believe. I've been there, more times than I'd like to admit, and it never works. Distancing yourself from your ex is also called the no contact rule. Although, in the many posts on this blog, the no contact rule is used for getting back an ex, no contact can also be used in healing and getting over a break up for women or men. It doesn't matter.

I recommend you visit the link and download my free ebook about the no contact rule. Also you can check out my post the rules of no contact to get a bit more insight why this rule is important in helping you to get over a break up.

Because a break up drags you down and lowers your self esteem quite a bit, you'll have to remember what I told you in the previous post. If you've yet to read it, click the link to read part one of how to get through a break up & become a better you.

No contact is hard. There will be times when you start to feel yourself get sad and down. Be warned. That's when those self-defeating voices will start to creep into your head. You know what I'm talking about. Those voices that tell you -

  • I'm not attractive.
  • I'm nothing without my ex.
  • He/she is the only one for me.
  • I'll never find someone better than them
  • I can't live without them.
  • I'll never find anyone else.
  • I can't move on. I love them too much.
You have to realize that these thoughts only bring you down and devalue you as a person. You're saying to yourself that you're a loser and have very little worth. This is desperation talking. This is neediness poisoning you. I'm going to tell you right here and this is the truth:

The ONLY person you need is YOU! Nobody else can make you happy but you! If you're looking for outside influences to determine your happiness and who you are, it's time you took a step back and found out why that is.

How to heal a broken heart after a break up starts from within. If your mind starts thinking of negative things or any of those lies I listed above, catch them immediately and replace them with positive thoughts. Why?

Because you are giving that person way too much power over you! That's extremely unhealthy and once you feel powerless, you'll feel frustrated and miserable. That's not the road to recovery. It's keeping yourself in a needy and desperate state.

Tell yourself that you're awesome, remember a time when you felt completely confident, and think back to a time that makes you smile. Remind yourself of your best assets as a person, and think of your best qualities only. Let them shine again and smile. That's important...SMILE!

Did you know that you can affect your mood just from your body language? You sure can. Try it. Try slouching and see how you feel. Then try putting those shoulders back and get into a straight posture. Now try frowning for a bit and then put a smile on your face.

You should notice the difference. I'll tell you what! Other people notice the difference as well. I once tried a test where I went out wearing a frown the whole day. What did I get back? I got back the same negative energy.

Then the next day I went out wearing a friendly and happy smile on my face. It wasn't some big goofy smile, but just a normal one, and guess what?  I got that energy right back. Quite a few ladies smiled back at me that day. Not all, but when I was wearing that frown, I got NO smiles at all.

I really hope this post helps you somewhat, and I understand if things seem bad right now. However, if you're really in a bad place and need extra help in getting out of the funk of trying to get over a break up, you can click the link and get this amazing resource that will show you methods and exercises on how to get through a break up quickly so you can begin to heal, move on, and be a wonderful new you.

Be sure to bookmark this blog for further posts on how to get through a break up, and be sure to share this article with your friends if you like it. Till then...good luck and best wishes.

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