Friday, August 19, 2011

Breakups, Getting back together, & All That Jazz!

This post is to give more insight to the whole topic of breakups, getting back together, and all the jazz that encompasses the strange dynamics of attraction, love, and relationships. As usual, I'm going to be bluntly honest and may seem politically incorrect at times.

I think we can all agree that attraction is the life blood that causes two people to choose each other in every kind of relationship no matter if it's friends or lovers.

Attraction is a mysterious element and countless of research has been done on the subject. We all would like to know just how this mysterious attraction factor works. Of course, we'd also like to know just how one would lose this attraction as well, which is the root of most breakups.

So attraction brings couples together and the loss of it breaks them apart. So it's not hard to logically state that getting back together after a breakup with an ex girlfriend means you have to attract them back. Discovering just how she lost attraction for you is important as well.

When I went through my breakup, I was completely lost and devastated. I had always thought that once a breakup happened that was it. You just had to move on and find another, but I really loved my girlfriend and wanted her back so much.

One of the first things that changed my life and got me on the right road to getting her back was when I stopped putting all the blame on my ex and recognized that she broke up with me for a reason. There was quite a few things about me that she wasn't happy with.

When I learned of this in many of the best resources and complete strategies to get my ex girlfriend back that I constantly recommend to my newsletter members, I fixed exactly the reasons she lost attraction for me, and I did this during the no contact period which is another reason why the tactic is used for.

Too many articles out there give bogus advice about breakups and getting back together with an ex girlfriend. Some of these even go as far as claiming that you should just be yourself. As I've stated countless of times, this is one of the worst advice to possibly give someone who wants an ex back.

Just being yourself is a huge mistake, because just like my girlfriend and me, there was something or a few things about YOU that brought upon the decision that your ex girlfriend made in breaking up with you.

Also, as I've always stated, this doesn't mean you have to be somebody else and completely change who you are. Don't get me wrong on that, because you don't have to do this. However, you will have to better yourself to a substantial enough degree to re-attract your ex girlfriend back.

Besides, what's wrong with growing as a person? What's wrong with being a better you? Absolutely nothing, and if you think you don't need to change anything about yourself to get your ex girlfriend back, you're fighting a losing battle and completely in denial.

So what did I do to better myself during the no contact period? You're reading it right now. I got all the best resources and getting back together after a breakup books and studied them until I learned just how to do exactly that.

Learning how to get her back was not all I did during this time. As I mentioned prior, I found the things about me and what the relationship lacked that led my ex girlfriend to dump me. This was not easy, but it had to be done in order for me to have any chance of succeeding.

 I also dove back into my love for comic book investing and collecting, as well as started making some good money selling them online, on ebay, and at my local comic shop as consignments. I also volunteered for a local charity. These two outlets kept me busy and also helped me to meet a wide variety of new people.

Of course, I also starting seeing other people and dating again during this time. I wasn't dating other women for revenge or spiteful reasons. In all honesty, she never even knew I was dating again, and it didn't matter if she did or not.

I'm not saying that the jealousy tactic shouldn't be used. In some situations it's very useful and needs to be done, especially when you cannot use no contact and have to use limited contact. I'm just saying my pure reason for dating was to do it for me to have fun and to gain my confidence back.

Instead of being needy and desperate and downtrodden like I was during the first two weeks after the breakup, I gained a lot of new confidence and was moving on from the breakup. So many guys don't realize how important that is, but it is.

By the time my ex girlfriend contacted me again and we met, I came to her in a fresh, new way. There were things that were different about me and she could tell. I was a recharged and better version of myself.

Now if I had come back the same old me, I would've just reaffirmed to her that her decision in breaking up with me was the right one. I would've have reminded her exactly why she wasn't happy in the relationship.

Instead, I brought to the forefront the things she was initially attracted to me in the first place, as well as the new confidence I had acquired from the all the new things that were happening in my life since the breakup.

I wanted to illustrate to you that breakups, getting back together, and keeping her for good is not as easy as just using the no contact rule and then doing nothing during the whole time apart from each other.

The things I discussed in this post as well as arming myself with the proven and successful strategy in getting back an ex girlfriend are the reasons why I was able to get her back It's about knowing what to do and being able to apply the knowledge to your unique breakup situation.

There's an enormous amount of information on this blog, so be sure to take a look around, check out the books I recommend, and ask any questions you may have in the comment boxes below each post. Don't be shy. I'll be sure to answer them when I get the chance.

Oh yes, and bookmark this blog or subscribe, because this is just the first post to this topic and there's more to come soon.

No comments:

Post a Comment